Inside Embune

Don’t get me wrong, I do like my job, I just hate the people I have to deal with, I should say the families I have to deal with. I work at a funeral home. I don’t mind the deceased, they don’t talk. But come on people, who let you leave the house like that? You are at a funeral home. I’m not saying that everyone has to be dressed in all black anymore, but maybe a nice pair of dress pants and a nice shirt? Is that too much to ask for? Oh, and you are here to pay your respects to the deceased not stuff your face in the lounge then smoke a pack of cigarettes while you are here. First of all, the family should not bring in crock pots full of food, cases of soda pop, and then bitch that we don’t have enough room for all of your food you are going to stuff down your fat neck! We are not a banquet facility, we are a funeral home. To those of you who do not know what a trash can is…..let me explain. It is, usually made out of rubber, has a lid on it, and the top opens and closes, usually all you have to do is push the top and it opens so you can throw garbage in to it. Why do I find gum wadded up in my plants in the hallway? There are tissue boxes everywhere, put your gum in the tissue then use one of those trash can things! We have several wicker waste baskets around the funeral home for tissues. Don’t throw your frosty, half drank, into the wicker trash cans. THEY LEAK! all over the carpet! I know you are not that IGNORANT! Also, to the moron who threw his coney dog in the wicker trash can, thanks a freaking lot. My cleaning lady loved cleaning onion, chili, and mustard out of the carpet and it smelled! Don’t bring your children to the funeral home if you plan on staying long. They get bored. Then they start to run around. They get loud, and I have no problem reprimanding your child as I see fit. You are in my building, I will make you child cry if I want to. Then I will come find you and let you know how rude and ignorant it is not to watch your child, especially at a funeral home. That does not mean, to start yelling at your child in front of everyone. It means, leave! Because one of the things that is exceptionally rude is yelling at your child in front of everyone, and loud enough for everyone to hear. Talk about rude trailer trash! If you have a teenager and they will be coming with you, please check what they are wearing before you leave the house. They can manage to dress appropriately for an hour or so while you are here. That floor length crushed red velvet spaghetti strap dress with black platform shoes….well lets just say it is inappropriate, did she just come from a brothel? Girls pull up your pants, no one wants to see your g-string while you are up at the casket saying good-bye to granpa. You look like a whore!

I am open from 9am-5pm Monday-Saturday. If we have visitation we are open until 9pm. 9pm 9pm 9pm….got it. YOU paid for visitation until 9pm. NOT 10pm, not when you feel like you want to leave…9pm. GOT IT! Also, if I am the only one in the building during normal business hours, my doors are locked. There is a door bell, us it. Then WAIT. When I answer the door, do not get an attitude with me about how the door is locked, there is a sign on the building, right by the door bell that says ring bell for attendant. Your lucky I am even answering the door for you at all. Why are you here if you do not have an appointment anyway? So someone died, and you just thought you would drive right to the funeral home and say…”my grandma died and we need to make arrangements.” Well, here is a tip. Make an appointment. Who is to say that there is a funeral director here to help you? Did you stop to think that there are other people on this earth besides you? Of course not, how silly of me. Because you are they only family who ever lost someone, right! Wrong. Maybe we had a funeral service early that morning and the director is with ‘another’ family…GASP, yes ‘another’ family, how dare he/she! Maybe the director is with another family, who had an appointment, to make funeral arrangements for their loved one. Or maybe he or she is just out to lunch. So, when I say, well I do not have a director here, you can wait until they get back or I can schedule you an appointment and you can come back, don’t give me the stare down like I am suppose to make magic happen and pull a director out of my ass! Oh, and no we do not take payments! You pay the total bill or you don’t have a funeral. I love when I hear “what do you mean, but we don’t have any money and you are going to make us pay after we just lost our grandfather, father, wife, etc….”. YES, we are going to make you pay and if you don’t you are not going to be having your funeral here! We are a business just like the one next door or down the street. How do you think we keep our doors open or make any money? If we don’t charge people for our services, well then we wouldn’t be here! HELLO? For those of you with cell phones, who just can’t manage to leave it off or at least on vibrate during a funeral service. YOU SUCK! Turn it off. And if you do have it on, don’t freaking answer it while someone is speaking, such as the priest who is up there saying prayers, you asshole. Don’t even get up and walk out of the room and answer it. One last thing, when you are outside smoking your 100th cigarette, use the ash tray, not the parking lot, or grass, or throw it in the landscaping. Oh and back to the 9-5pm thing. To the white trash family that showed up at my door at 5pm, when you clearly saw that I was in my coat with my purse in hand and starting my car….thanks a freaking lot! YOU knew I was getting ready to leave. But, you had to insist on “just getting some pricing”. I should have told you to come back in the morning. You said you had been to other funeral homes in the area getting pricing, how about using that cell phone that kept ringing and your skank daughter kept answering, why didn’t you just use that to call to see how late someone was here? Nope, just thinking of yourself. And, NO, I am not going to give you an exact price and put it down on paper. I told you I would give you an estimate that you could look over. I am not the director, only they director can give you the ‘final” price. But you kept insisting that you wanted to know exactly how much it would be for this amount of time, then this amount of time just at church, then what about just 3 hour, etc….you reeked of smoke and your teeth were gross. Your daughter is a whore. I hope you don’t come back here, we can live without your business, thats for sure. Then you tell me you have a insurance policy for $2500. But then asked if we could cut you a break. Go fuk yourself! I told you to call back and make an appointment and speak with the owner because he is the one that can cut the prices not me. That wasn’t good enough for you, you said that you would really appreciate if I could tell you that he would cut some prices. You are a pain in my ass and it is people like you that will cause me to not want to get up in the morning and come in to work. I know that what I did give you as far as pricing is going to come back and bite me in the ass. You had me so freaking confused, congrats, I am sure that is what you intended to do, I couldn’t keep up, I think I even forgot to write down embalming charges. I told you before you left, to CALL if you decided you wanted to use our funeral home, so I could set up an appointment for you with the director to go over the pricing and the days and times, etc. I’m waiting for you to show up at my door today, probably at 5pm again. So be prepared, because if you show up and it is even close to 5pm, I am not answering my door. You will have to call and schedule an appt. just like every other person. Well, I could go on and on……Just a bit of advice for people who will be attending a funeral anytime soon. First, dress appropriately. DO NOT bring in a ton of food, a meat and cheese tray some donuts, maybe a few bottles of water. That’s fine. But don’t be a pain in the ass and bring in whole meals. Don’t throw shit on the floor, use the trash cans. If you are here to pay your respects to the deceased, than do so, don’t spend your time in the lounge laughing and smoking, spend it in the chapel with the deceased. You can manage not to smoke a cigarette for an hour while you are here. No liquor, I really don’t like picking up your empty bottles out of the couch cushions. DO NOT bring your children if you are going to be a long time. If you do bring them, make sure they are well behaved and you are watching them at all times. Do not yell at them in front of everyone, it’s rude and disrespectful, trailer trash like! We supply the coffee to you, do not take the whole can of coffee home with you at the end of the evening. It is ours! If you do bring in food, clean up and take it back with you. It is obvious we do not have a garbage disposal, do not throw your food in the sink! OH! and the best one! The things that you see in the fridge CLEARLY labeled “STAFF ONLY” belong to the staff. You know, it may be my lunch or my bottle of pepsi, etc….you get the idea. Well, don’t freaking drink it or eat it. Are you that desperate for something free. You think I just brought in some yogurt and a bottle of ice tea because you were coming in? No you ass it’s my lunch! Don’t come up front to my office and say “I saw that there was some pop in the fridge that says staff on it, but I have some kids and they are really thirsty can they have some?” NO, your snot nosed kids cannot have anything in there that says STAFF on it. I Cannot believe you ignorant, rude, motherFers! How many times do I go back to the fridge and find my shit gone, if I labeled it “specimen”, I’m sure someone would still try it.

source: http://www.afunnystuff.com

Barely a few hours after official release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which commonly known as

Harry Potter 7 or simply

HP7, the fans and enthusiasts, or more aptly, the extreme fast typists have managed to transcribe, type, proofread and compile the whole final book 7 of

Harry Potter series novel into digital form or electronic book. Most likely fans start doing the typing based on the leaked HP 7 novel few days ago, but it’s still a magnificent job to type 759 pages of epilogue text into computer, and then make available the ebook to the world and release for free viewing and downloading.

The

full version of final seventh book of Harry Porter series can be downloaded from BT torrent network or eDonkey/eMule. It’s not a fan fiction. The Pirate Bay remains the best site to search for the torrents, as other sites scramble to lawyer’s letter from the publisher. Simply search for keywords such as “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows [REAL] [PDF] [CLEAN]“, “Harry Potter 7 – And The Deathly Hallows.EBOOK-KG”, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows TRANSCRIBED COMPLETE [DSB]“, or “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows [REAL] [DOC].rar”, and you are likely to end up with a ebook named HP7_[DSB] or

HP7 in RAR or ZIP format. Most ebooks are in Acrobat PDF and Word DOC format. Some low quality audiobooks also start appearing.

The ebook has also been transcribed and converted to other format such as eReader to read on handheld PDA or Windows Mobile or Palm device. For this version release, search for “Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows (eReader format)”

If you want to read the actual

HP7 book on your iPod, search for “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Formatted for iPod” for a transcription for iPod where you can put in the notes directory and enjoy the reading on the go anywhere anytime.

And you can also read

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows fromScribd. If you lazy to read, and want somebody to read it for you in voice, Scribd will help you too. Scroll down to listen to the audio of 7th book.

What are the most common mistakes that English learners make? Which mistakes do most English learners need to correct, in order to learn English much faster?

Here are the top 5 English Learning Mistakes:

1. Focusing On Grammar

This is the biggest, most common, and worst mistake. Research shows that grammar study, in fact, actually hurts English speaking ability. Why? Because English grammar is simply too complex to memorize and use logically…. and real conversation is much too fast.

You don’t have enough time to think, remember hundreds or thousands of grammar rules, choose the correct one, then use it.

Your logical left-brain cannot do it. You must learn grammar intuitively and unconsciously, like a child. You do this by hearing a lot of correct English grammar- and your brain gradually and automatically learns to use English grammar correctly.

2. Forcing Speech

Both English students and teachers try to force speech before the learner is ready. The result is that most students speak English very slowly- with no confidence and no fluency. Forcing speech is a huge mistake. Don’t force speech. Focus on listening and be patient. Speak only when you are ready to speak- when it happens easily and naturally. Until then, never force it.

3. Learning Only Formal Textbook English

Unfortunately, most English students learn only the formal English found in textbooks and schools. The problem is- native speakers don’t use that kind of English in most situations.

When speaking to friends, family, or co-workers, native speakers use casual English that is full of idioms, phrasal verbs, and slang. To communicate with native speakers, you must not rely only on textbooks.. you must learn casual English.

4. Trying To Be Perfect

Students and teachers often focus on mistakes. They worry about mistakes. They correct mistakes. They feel nervous about mistakes. They try to speak perfectly. No one, however, is perfect. Native speakers make mistakes all the time. You will too. Instead of focusing on the negative- focus on communication.

Your goal is not to speak “perfectly”, your goal is to communicate ideas, information, and feelings in a clear and understandable way. Focus on communication,focus on the positive. You will automatically improve your mistakes in time

5. Relying On English Schools

Most English learners rely totally on schools. They think the teacher and the school are responsible for their success. This is never true. You, the English learner, are always responsible. A good teacher can help, but ultimately you must be responsible for your own learning.

You must find lessons and material that are effective. You must listen and read every day. You must manage your emotions and remain motivated and energetic. You must be positive and optimistic. No teacher can make you learn. Only you can do it!

While these mistakes are very common, the good news is that you can correct them. When you stop making these mistakes, you change the way you learn English. You learn faster. Your speaking improves. You enjoy learning English.

Good luck… you can do it!

source: effortlessenglish.org

Begitu sulitkan mencari 23 orang dari 200juta penduduk di Indonesia yang bisa bermain bola??. Melihat kekalahan Indonesia dari Thailand kemarin membuat hatiku menjadi pilu. Sepak bola di Indonesia benar benar telah menjadi paradok yang ironis..

Jika orang orang di Brasilia selalu bilang bahwa sepak bola adalah mata pencaharian mereka, mereka bangga karena anak anak sejak kecil telah berlatih di jalanan untuk meningkatkan skill mereka. Namun sebenarnya orang orang Indonesia tidak kalah sebenarnya, anak anak kecil di sini telah ikut berbagai macam sekolah sepak bola yang ternama, bahkan tim anak Indonesia bisa bersaing di dunia pada pertandingan yang diadakan danone.

Namun sedikit hasil diskusi bersama temanku beberapa waktu yang lalu, terdapat beberapa masalah dalam persepakbolaan Indonesia, yaitu:

1. Di Indonesia profesi menjadi atlet belum menjanjikan untuk dijadikan tumpuan hidup
2. Kebanyakan pemain sepak bola indoesia tidak berpendidikan tinggi.Orang orang pintar yang kebanyakan lulus strata 1 lebih memilih untuk menjadi karyawan yang memiliki jenjang karir lebih menjanjikan, padahal dalam semua cabang ilmu, kecerdasan otak sangat mempengaruhi untuk menunjang keberhasilan. (memilih sepak bola sebagai akibat, bukan sebagai sebab)
3. Belum adanya konsen pemerintah yang lebih mengenai olahraga ini, pemerintah masih focus pada bidang ekonomi.

Melihat beberapa kendala tersebut, sebenarnya bisa dilakukan beberapa langkah untuk membenahi system ini.

1. Dukungan pemerintah untuk membuat standar gaji yang lebih menjanjikan misalnya, sehingga orang tua tidak perlu ragu ragu untuk mensekolahkan anaknya untuk bersepak bola

2. Mengikut kebijakan thanksin (PM Thailand) yang mengirim pemainnya ke luar negeri untuk training bersama club club terkenal.

3. Peningkatan sarana dan prasarana

4. Benahi mental, benahi fisik, benahi sikap, benahi karakter penonton, kita harus bisa menghargai lawan.

Semoga tulisan ini ada yang membaca dan memberi masukan bagi persepak bolaan Indonesia

Oleh: Didik Kurniawan Hadi dengan Hendro ketika diskusi dalam sebuah perjalanan menggunakan kereta ekonomi dari Jakarta-yogyakarta

Translate in English

Is it so complicated to look for 23 people from 200million resident in Indonesia which can play foot ball? After saw Indonesia team drubbing from Thailand yesterday make my heart become lugubrious. Football in Indonesia has come to the ironic paradox.

If people in Brasilia always spell out members that football is their living, they proud because since their child they already have exercised in public road to increase their skill. But in fact Indonesian people don’t fail in fact, since their childhood they are have already been followed assorted of football school which distinguished for, even team of Indonesia child can compete in children world cup performed sponsored by DANONE.

But as a little discussion result with my friend some times ago, there are some internal issues of Indonesia football, that is:

1. In Indonesia, Footballers profession not yet promised to be made a fulcrums live
2. Mostly footballer education in Indonesia wasn’t well educated. Indonesian which has passed bachelor degree more opting to become the employees owning career ladder that more promising of course. Though in all science branches, brain intelligence is very influencing to support the efficacy. (Choosing football as effect, non as cause)
3. Not yet the existence of more hitting concern government of this athletics, government still focuses at economic area.

See some that constraints, in fact can be done with some step to correct this system:

1. Governmental support to make the more promising salary standard for example, so that doubt parent needn’t be indecisive to send to school its child for the football
2. To following policy Thanksin ( PM Thailand) sending its player out country for the training of with famous football club
3. Make-Up of football infrastructure
4. Correct to bounce, correct the physical, correct the attitude, correct the audience character, we should be able to esteem the opponent.

Hopefully this article there [is] reading and giving input for Football association in Indonesia

By: Didi Kurniawan Hadi and Hendro @ train Jakarta-Yogya

Suami saya adalah seorang insinyur, saya mencintai sifatnya yang alami dan saya menyukai perasaan hangat yang muncul di perasaan saya, ketika saya bersandar di bahunya yang bidang.

Tiga tahun dalam masa perkenalan, dan dua tahun dalam masa pernikahan, saya harus akui, bahwa saya mulai merasa lelah, alasan-alasan saya mencintainya dulu telah berubah menjadi sesuatu yang menjemukan.

Saya seorang wanita yang sentimentil dan benar-benar sensitif serta berperasaan halus. Saya merindukansaat-saat romantis seperti seorang anak yangmenginginkan permen. Tetapi semua itu tidak pernah saya dapatkan

.

Suami saya jauh berbeda dari yang saya harapkan.Rasa sensitif-nya kurang. Dan ketidakmampuannya dalammenciptakan suasana yang romantis dalam pernikahan kami telah mementahkan semua harapan saya akan cinta yang ideal.

Suatu hari, saya beranikan diri untuk mengatakan keputusan saya kepadanya, bahwa saya menginginkan perceraian.

“Mengapa ?”, tanya suami saya dengan terkejut.

“Saya lelah, kamu tidak pernah bisa memberikan cinta yang saya inginkan,” jawab saya.

Suami saya terdiam dan termenung sepanjang malam di depan komputernya, tampak seolah-olah sedang mengerjakan sesuatu, padahal tidak. Kekecewaan saya semakin bertambah, seorang pria yang bahkan tidak dapat mengekspresikan perasaannya, apalagi yang bisa saya harapkan darinya ?

Dan akhirnya suami saya bertanya,” Apa yang dapat saya lakukan untuk merubah pikiran kamu ?”

Saya menatap matanya dalam-dalam dan menjawab dengan pelan, “Saya punya pertanyaan, jika kau dapat menemukan jawabannya di dalam perasaan saya, saya akan merubah pikiran saya:Seandainya, saya menyukai setangkai bunga indah yang ada di tebing gunung. Kita berdua tahu jika kamu memanjat gunung itu, kamu akan mati. Apakah kamu akan
memetik bunga itu untuk saya ?”

Dia termenung dan akhirnya berkata,”Saya akan memberikan jawabannya besok.”

Perasaan saya langsung gundah mendengar responnya.

Keesokan paginya, dia tidak ada di rumah, dan saya menemukan selembar kertas dengan oret-oretan tangannya dibawah sebuah gelas yang berisi susu hangat yang bertuliskan…

“Sayang, saya tidak akan mengambil bunga itu untukmu, tetapi ijinkan saya untuk menjelaskan alasannya.”

Kalimat pertama ini menghancurkan perasaan saya. Saya melanjutkan untuk membacanya.
“Kamu selalu pegal-pegal pada waktu ‘ teman baik kamu’ datang setiap bulannya, dan saya harus memberikan tangan saya untuk memijat kaki kamu yang pegal.”

“Kamu senang diam di rumah, dan saya selalu kuatir kamu akan menjadi aneh’.Saya harus membelikan sesuatu yang dapat menghibur kamu di rumah atau meminjamkan lidah saya untuk menceritakan hal-hal lucu yang saya alami.”

“Kamu selalu terlalu dekat menonton televisi, terlalu dekat membaca buku, dan itu tidak baik untuk kesehatan mata kamu.

Saya harus menjaga mata saya agar ketika kita tua nanti, saya masih dapat menolong mengguntingkan kuku kamu dan mencabuti uban kamu.”

“Tangan saya akan memegang tangan kamu, membimbing kamu menelusuri pantai, menikmati matahari pagi dan pasir yang indah.

Menceritakan warna-warna bunga yang bersinar dan indah seperti cantiknya wajah kamu.”

“Tetapi Sayang, saya tidak akan mengambil bunga indah yang ada di tebing gunung itu hanya untuk mati..Karena, saya tidak sanggup melihat air mata kamu mengalir menangisi kematian saya.”

“Sayang, saya tahu, ada banyak orang yang bisa mencintai kamu lebih dari saya mencintai kamu. Untuk itu Sayang, jika semua yang telah diberikan tangan saya, kaki saya, mata saya tidak cukup buat kamu, saya tidak bisa menahan kamu untuk mencari tangan, kaki, dan mata lain yang dapat membahagiakan kamu.”

Air mata saya jatuh ke atas tulisannya dan membuat tintanya menjadi kabur, tetapi saya tetap berusaha untuk terus membacanya.

“Dan sekarang, Sayang, kamu telah selesai membaca jawaban saya. Jika kamu puas dengan semua jawaban ini, dan tetap menginginkan saya untuk tinggal di rumah ini, tolong bukakan pintu rumah kita, saya sekarang sedang berdiri di sana menunggu jawaban kamu.”

“Jika kamu tidak puas dengan jawaban saya ini, Sayang, biarkan saya masuk untuk membereskan barang-barang saya, dan saya tidak akan mempersulit hidup kamu.Percayalah, bahagia saya adalah bila kamu bahagia.”

Saya segera berlari membuka pintu dan melihatnya berdiri di depan pintu dengan wajah penasaran sambil tangannya memegang susu dan roti kesukaan saya.

Oh, kini saya tahu, tidak ada orang yang pernah mencintai saya lebih dari dia mencintai saya. Itulah cinta, di saat kita merasa cinta itu telah berangsur-angsur hilang dari perasaan kita, karena kita merasa dia tidak dapat memberikan cinta dalamwujud yang kita inginkan, maka cinta itu sesungguhnya telah hadir dalam wujud lain yang tidak pernah kita
bayangkan sebelumnya.

Seringkali yang kita butuhkan adalah memahami wujud cinta dari pasangan kita, dan bukan mengharapkan wujud tertentu. Karena cinta tidak selalu harus berwujud” bunga“.